Rock-A-Bye...Baby!?!
by Dreamwalker2
Summary: Brad and Youji get the surprise of their lives (BradxNagi, YoujixOmi)
1. Prologue: Surprise, Surprise!!!

Keywords: YoujixOmi, NagixBrad, absurd attempt at humor, OOC characters. Really weird AU. You've been warned.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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There are only three things in life capable of upsetting Nagi Naoe. One is Weiss, the other Schuldich, and the third...  
  
  
  
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"NO! It's impossible! You can't be serious!"  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry, Mr. Naoe, but our tests show--"  
  
  
  
"I don't care about your stupid tests! This can't be true!"  
  
  
  
"Now, now Mr. Naoe. I'm sure we can help you straighten this out. We've had patients come in that are much younger than you. We offer  
  
counseling--"  
  
  
  
"What?! I don't care if I'm underaged! This shouldn't be happening! I'm a BOY for crying out loud!"  
  
  
  
"Please, Mr. Naoe..." the doctor said soothingly as she shared a look with the nurse who was clutching the test results to her chest and shaking her head sympathetically. "It's natural for you to feel upset but if you'd calm down for a moment..."  
  
  
  
"Argh!" Nagi cried in frustration. Have they gone blind? Can't they see for themselves? Why aren't they listening? "Gotta get out..."  
  
  
  
Jumping out of his chair, he stormed out of the room--and bumped straight into the slight figure of the next patient, a blond-haired, blue-eyed boy.  
  
  
  
"Schwartz!" the boy yelped, catching sight of his face.  
  
  
  
"Weiss!" he hissed.  
  
  
  
There was a quiet, tense moment as they regarded each other warily, ready and poised for combat. Then suddenly, it dawned on them--their location, the floor, the ward...  
  
  
  
"What??" they chorused. "You too?!?!"  
  
  
  
  
  
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Rock-A-Bye...Baby?!? (Prologue: Surprise, Surprise!)  
  
  
  
  
  
by Dreamwalker  
  
  
  
  
  
E-mail: dreamwalkerchan@yahoo.com  
  
Type: humor (not funny yet but hoping to be on the next parts), AU  
  
Summary: Youji and Brad get the surprise of their lives  
  
Pairing: my favorite shota pairs ^_^  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Archive: Permission can only be granted by Jei and Fei.  
  
Author's Note: God, I know it's a lame title but I can't think of anything better .;; This fic is written for Fei and Jei's b-day (belated happy birthday you guys!). Since Jei wanted a Y/O humor fic, well this is the best I could come up with since I suck at humor fics o Also, this fic is unbeta-ed so forgive the grammatical errors and mispellings.  
  
  
  
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Youji drummed his fingers impatiently against the steering wheel as he waited for the garage door to open. He had been anxious to get home since he received that phonecall from Omi that afternoon. The young Weiss had gone to the hospital earlier for a check-up. He had not been feeling too well the past few weeks and had finally decided to see a doctor--a big deal considering the fact that all four members of Weiss tend to steer clear of hospitals. Medical records can be a hassle, especially in their profession.  
  
  
  
He felt himself grow more worried by the moment as he eased the car into the garage. Omi's voice had sounded strange over the phone but the boy refused to say anything more. "Just come home early tonight. Alright, Youji- kun?" was all he said.  
  
  
  
What happened? What kind of results did he get? he wondered as he got out of the car and walked up to the side door that led to the kitchen.  
  
  
  
"Omi?" he called out as entered the house. "I'm home!"  
  
  
  
The kitchen was empty. No answer.  
  
  
  
"Omi?" he called again, louder this time. There came a faint rustling from the den, immediately putting Youji on guard. Treading softly, he pressed a tiny switch at the side of his watch, pulling out and winding around his fingers the string hidden inside.  
  
  
  
Slowly, he snuck a peek into the dark room.  
  
  
  
Empty.  
  
  
  
Another small sound caught his ear, making him look up. It came from the room across the hall--their room.  
  
  
  
Quickly covering the distance, he wrenched open the door and barged into the room, ready to take on the intruder--  
  
  
  
"Youji-kun!"  
  
  
  
Youji paused in mid-motion.  
  
  
  
The room was bathed in candlelight. And on their bed, under the covers, lay Omi.  
  
  
  
"Omi?!" he choked out.  
  
  
  
"What took you so long?" the boy asked, pouting.  
  
  
  
Recovering from his surprise, Youji snapped the wire back into place. "Me? Christ, you had me worried there for a minute! What's all this?" he asked, indicating the candles. He noticed the room also smelled of sandalwood. He hurried over to the boy's side, placing a hand against his forehead. "Are you feeling alright? Why are you in bed?"  
  
  
  
Omi sat up, revealing bare arms and shoulders. "Well..." Omi said shyly, eyes cast downwards. He traced small circles on the bed with a finger, "It's part of my surprise."  
  
  
  
"Surprise?" Youji repeated, suddenly confused and very much distract by the fact that Omi seems to be completely naked under the covers. "Are you sick? What happened at the hospital?"  
  
  
  
Omi shook his head. "No, I'm fine. It's just that, I want you to..." Omi reached out to take Youji's hand--"touch me.."--and placed it against the smooth, bare skin of his stomach."...here."  
  
  
  
"Omi--?"  
  
  
  
"Kiss me, Youji-kun!"  
  
  
  
"E-ee..." Youji leaned forward, bewildered, but did what he was asked.  
  
  
  
Placing his free hand against the headboard, he bent down and pressed a kiss against the boy's waiting lips. Slender arms came up, wrapping themselves around his neck. Finally, after a long, thorough kiss, they broke off for air. Youji trailed light kisses down the side of Omi's neck. "Hhmm...this is one nice-smelling surprise..." he said huskily, nuzzling the boy's throat.  
  
  
  
Giggling, Omi swatted him lightly on the back, at the same time arching his neck and pressing closer against the tall assassin. "D-do you love me, Youji-kun?" he asked softly, as Youji kicked off his shoes and settled on the bed.  
  
  
  
"Of course, I do, angel," Youji answered, taking off his shirt. He turned back to Omi and placed a light kiss against his collarbone.  
  
  
  
"Show me," the young bishounen said breathlessly as Youji began to pull at the sheet around his waist.  
  
  
  
Youji was more than happy to oblige. Drawing back the covers, he ran a hand up the boy's side as he once again began pressing soft, wet kisses against Omi's throat. Soft sighs urged him on as his lips traveled lower down to-- delectable shoulders...a heaving chest...smooth flat stomach...and beyond that...  
  
  
  
"No--" Hands were placed against his shoulders and Youji paused. "Not like that," Omi said. "I want...I want you..."  
  
  
  
"Ah..."  
  
  
  
Omi need not say more. Youji was already reaching for the tiny tube on the dresser.  
  
  
  
Clothes were stripped off, pants thrown to the floor...  
  
  
  
...five minutes later, Youji rolled off to the side, a lazy smile on his face.  
  
  
  
"That was a nice surprise," he drawled, placing a quick kiss on Omi's forehead. Leaning back on his pillow, he gave a contented sigh, basking in the afterglow.  
  
  
  
"But that's not the surprise, Youji-kun."  
  
  
  
"It's not?" Youji glanced at Omi, surprised.  
  
  
  
Rolling over on his stomach, Omi settled on his elbows so that he was looking straight at Youji.  
  
  
  
"Well, today at the hospital," the boy began. "I...I..."  
  
  
  
"You what?" Youji was suddenly worried again. Was Omi sick? Was what happened a while ago just a jumping off point to lessen the impact of bad news?  
  
  
  
Omi blushed. "Well, today I...I finally found out what those rubber thingies are for."  
  
  
  
Youji gave him a blank look. "Thingies?"  
  
  
  
Omi blushed even harder. "You know...the things you didn't want to use when we..." Omi was positively red at this point."...when we...umm...you know...because it makes it less..."  
  
  
  
"Oh, right! Yes, I understand." Youji smacked his forehead. Of course. Omi had just had his first check-up. The doctor must have given him "the talk." He had forgotten that they asked those kinds of questions.  
  
  
  
Youji heaved a sigh of relief. So, Omi wasn't sick?  
  
  
  
Then again...he wasn't gonna tell him that they should start using it now, is he?  
  
  
  
Omi was looking at him expectantly. "You know what I'm talking about, Youji- kun?"  
  
  
  
"Yes, yes," Youji said, patting Omi's hand reassuringly. "Look, if you've decided that we should start using it, that's fine with--"  
  
  
  
"No! That's not it!" Omi was shaking his head vigorously. He gave Youji a shy smile. "Actually, I'm glad we don't use it."  
  
  
  
Youji blinked. "You are?"  
  
  
  
Omi rolled onto his back, took Youji's hand and once again placed it over his belly. "Yes, because if we did, this wouldn't have happened. Can you feel it, Youji-kun?"  
  
  
  
This time, Youji came up blank. Feel what?  
  
  
  
He shot a sideway glance at Omi. The boy was still looking at him expectantly, a giddy smile on his lips.  
  
  
  
Youji cleared his throat. "Feel what, Omi?" he asked slowly, a horrible thought striking him. Omi can't be saying that...  
  
  
  
"You're gonna be a father...Youji-kun, I'm pregnant!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Of the 27 years in his life, Brad Crawford can count in one hand the things that were able to take him by surprise. One is that mean uppercut he got from Fujimiya Ran. The other was falling for the young telekinetic, Nagi Naoe. And the third...  
  
  
  
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"I'm pregnant," Nagi repeated impatiently over the phone.  
  
  
  
Brad couldn't believe it, he did hear it right the first time. He stood shell shock as he continued to listen to Nagi's tirade.  
  
  
  
"...and if I don't get out of here soon, I swear to God, I'm gonna start blowing things up--"  
  
  
  
"Wait there," he said, finally finding his voice.  
  
  
  
"What?"  
  
  
  
"I said wait there," Brad repeated, more firmly this time.  
  
  
  
"But Bra--"  
  
  
  
Brad didn't give Nagi time to finish. Hanging up the receiver, he grabbed his coat and car keys and was out the door in no time.  
  
  
  
  
  
-TBC-  
  
  
  
  
  
Feedbacks are welcome, but not rotten tomatoes.  
  
Next: Rock-A-Bye...Baby?!?--Part 1: Immaculate Misconception  
  
Teaser: Now that the cat is out of the bag, guess who's the happy father! 


	2. Part 1: Immaculate Misconception

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Nagi slouched lower on the couch--arms crossed--glaring at everyone who dared looked his way.  
  
  
  
Where the hell is he? he thought furiously. He'd been waiting for half an hour and is now royally pissed.  
  
  
  
The Weiss brat had already left--thank God for that. Omi had been called into the doctor's office before Nagi could even summon his powers. Nagi snorted remembering the other boy's expression when he stepped back out into the waiting room. He looked deliriously--happy?  
  
  
  
Talk about clueless, Nagi thought, shaking his head. That boy has major issues.  
  
  
  
The door to the waiting room opened. Nagi looked up to see Brad enter with a big bouquet of roses in one hand, chocolates in the other.  
  
  
  
Nagi stood up, scowling.  
  
  
  
"Nagi," Brad said as he caught sight of the boy, relief apparent on his normally unruffled demeanor. He strode towards the boy and, dropping the roses and chocolates on the couch, wrapped both arms around Nagi in a tight hug.  
  
  
  
Something was not right in this picture.  
  
  
  
"W-what??" Nagi stammered, baffled by this strange behavior.  
  
  
  
Brad never gives hugs in public. Not ever.  
  
  
  
"Brad--" Nagi hissed, trying to wriggle out of Brad's arms. All eyes in the room were on them and he felt his face grow hot.  
  
  
  
"I'm so happy." Brad whispered, voice overcome with emotion.  
  
  
  
Oh, no.  
  
  
  
"I can't believe it. We're gonna have a baby!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Title: Rock-A-Bye.Baby?!? (Part 1/? - Immaculate Misconception)  
  
Author: Dreamwalker  
  
E-mail: dreamwalkerchan@yahoo.com  
  
Type: humor, AU  
  
Pairings: Youji/Omi, Crawford/Nagi  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Keywords: AU, OOC, absurd humor, childbearing  
  
Archive: Previous chapter can be found here http://www.geocities.com/d_arcy18/weisskreuz.html  
  
Author's Note: This is a birthday fic for Fei and Jei. They own archiving rights. This fic is unbeta-ed.  
  
  
  
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It's no use. He might as well be talking to the bathroom door. Sighing with frustration, Youji leaned back against the wall in defeat. In the still silence of their room, he could hear the soft sniffles coming from the bathroom door.  
  
  
  
Guilt clamped around his chest like a vise. Bad guys, he could handle. A crying Omi, he could not.  
  
  
  
"Come on, Omi," he began again, turning back to the door. "Please, open up. Look, I'm sorry. You just caught me by surprise. Come on, angel, come out and we'll talk, aright?"  
  
  
  
He waited with bated breath as the snifflings from inside began to subside. Finally, the lock clicked as the knob was turned. Out came Omi, cheeks tear- stained, usually clear blue eyes all red and puffy.  
  
  
  
"You hate me now, don't you?" Omi asked softly, miserably.  
  
  
  
"Oh baby, how can you say that? Of course, I don't!" Youji exclaimed feeling totally wretched. He caught a reluctant Omi by the arm, drawing the boy to him in a hug. "I'm sorry." he whispered over and over into the boy's hair as Omi leaned into the hug and began crying again.  
  
  
  
"I thought you'd be happy once you find out," Omi said against his shirt. "I'm so stupid--!"  
  
  
  
"Hush," Youji said soothingly. "Of course, I'm happy. I've never been happier."  
  
  
  
He didn't know which felt worse: making Omi cry or lying through his teeth.  
  
  
  
Omi, pregnant? Of course he'd be upset! He felt like the whole world had been dropped on his head.  
  
  
  
Sayonara bachelorhood, hello fatherhood.  
  
  
  
That meant a new house, a bigger car, little kids running around the house, screaming.  
  
  
  
He felt like crying himself.  
  
  
  
"Youji-kun? Youji-kun?!"  
  
  
  
"W-wha--?" Cerulean eyes snapped him out of his reverie.  
  
  
  
"Do you mean it?" Omi asked, eyes shining brightly through his tears.  
  
  
  
"Of course, I do!" he said, even managing to sound a little hurt that Omi would even doubt his sincerity.  
  
  
  
"I'm so glad!" Omi exclaimed happily, hugging him back tightly.  
  
  
  
Youji smiled. He felt a little better, knowing Omi was happy. Besides, there's nothing that could be worse than this. Right?  
  
  
  
"Now, Youji-kun," Omi said, calming down a bit, turning bright eyes back on him. "When are we gonna tell Ken-kun and Aya-kun?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Nagi Naoe was not a happy camper. He sat bundled up on their living room sofa in a ridiculously pink robe and an equally ridiculous pair pink slippers that Brad made him wear.  
  
  
  
"I'm fine," he insisted crankily as Brad adjusted the cushions for the nth time.  
  
  
  
"Just making sure you're comfortable," Brad said, ignoring Nagi's obviously bad mood.  
  
  
  
"We're going back tomorrow," Nagi reminded him. "And we're gonna settle this once and for all! Those idiots at the lab must have made some kind of mistake and that's all that this is, a mistake--"  
  
"Alright, whatever you say, Nagi," Brad said smoothly, cutting him off. "Now what do you want later for dessert?"  
  
  
  
"I'm not hungry!" Nagi huffed, miffed at Brad's patronizing tone and uncharacteristically pleasant mood.  
  
  
  
Shrugging, Brad walked back to the kitchen. Nagi glared at the television while he listened to Brad work in the kitchen. He levitated it off the stand, onto the floor and back again, trying to blow off steam.  
  
  
  
Dammit! Has the world gone crazy? Teenage boys getting pregnant! Whoever heard of such nonsense! And Brad too! That was the last straw--!  
  
  
  
"Nagi!"  
  
  
  
The television wobbled in mid-air as Brad's voice cut sharply through his thoughts. The tall leader of Schwartz stood by the hall, hands on waist. He no longer looked pleased.  
  
  
  
"I told you not to do that! It's not good for--"  
  
  
  
"Well, who cares! There is no baby anyway!" Getting up, Nagi began to stomp off towards the direction of their room. "I'm going to bed!"  
  
  
  
"No, your not," Brad said, blocking his way. "We have guests for dinner."  
  
  
  
Nagi scowled at him. "Guests? Since when did we--" Nagi paused in mid- sentence, eyes growing wide.  
  
  
  
"You didn't tell *them*, did you?"  
  
  
  
As if on cue, the front door was thrown open and a familiar voice called out, "Where's the new mommy?" 


End file.
